Can Men & Women Be Friends?

Really. It’s one of the age old questions that is sometimes debated on. Some of the men I have asked think that generally speaking for their side, there would be more carnal cravings (if you know what I mean) that would hinder the two sexes to achieve a stable friendship without any malice. Yes, I think it is possible for a man and a woman to be friends only. There are many women who could attest to this as well.

In my case, I have a straight guy friend whom I am not attracted to that would pique any romantic feelings. We met in our freshmen year in uni almost a decade ago, and have been friends since then. Both of us have interests in arts and design, travel (this just recently because I have some funds now) and food. We’re not the best of friends but he’s the only heterosexual male friend that I have, others are gay so they don’t really count in this subject. I am 99% sure that said guy friend and I are on the same boat but we can never really tell what’s on another person’s mind. When someone is attracted or interested in me, most of the time I can pick up hints, but with him, the radar does not turn on. Initiation of messages and catch ups are more or less equally done so by both of us. I also think that he doesn’t see me beyond the short stocky older sister who looks younger than him ha ha.

What I cannot make sense of is when a heterosexual individual’s best friend is a person of the opposite sex — meaning he/she does not have a best friend from the same sex. I think that this type of (best)friendship would lead to deep conversations, extreme vulnerability, tension, attraction, intimacy, then eventually to confusion. When these stages develop, the following are possibly bound to happen: 1) one would be on the friend zone 2) friendship will be at risk of being destroyed or 3) it will get awkward or icy. Well, that’s just me. To each his own. 🙂


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